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(no subject)

Jul. 6th, 2009 | 11:27 pm

 Help. Help please anyone. I'm so lost, I don't  even know. I can feel my soul...and I hate it. I hate that I let my life become this way. I get trampled on by everyone I know. Help please. 

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Space Pearls!

Jun. 29th, 2009 | 12:32 pm

My shop is finally open. I already sold an item and I'm so happy.

http://spacepearls.etsy.com




 
 

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Take life as it comes...we float.

Jun. 17th, 2009 | 01:53 pm

 I don't understand it. I'm trying trying trying my best to not think about having a cigarette...but it is not working. I've been a vegetarian for almost three years. I drink maybe once every three months. So, why does everyone pound on me for smoking? I need something. Something to keep me just a wee bit sane. I do yoga. Exercise regularly. All that jazz. The only person who gets it is my boyfriend. He understnads. Why can't anyone else? I just want to rip my hair out somedays and scream to them that I can't be perfect. I can't have a fancy medical job, go to school, be thin, keep my sanity without something. So please just


STOP
and let me be me. 



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Alice...

Jun. 9th, 2009 | 09:45 am

So, my beautiful sister just had her baby. It's a perfect little girl named Alison (Alice) Paige. When I got home from the hospital I nearly threw up because of all the butterflies I had all day. Other than that, the day was magical. We think she is going to have Eric's hair and eyes (both dark brown) but either way...she will be perfect. 


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(no subject)

Apr. 28th, 2009 | 05:50 pm

When you get out there and actually do it, it feels so... amazing. Run run run run your heart out.







 
 
 
Today I recieved Miss Block's new book Open Letter to Quiet Light. I will finish it tonight...always do. 

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Swim.

Apr. 27th, 2009 | 07:32 am

I love waking up to the rain and thunder. Hearing the droplets dance on my window is mesmerizing.  It just makes my Monday morning that much better. About to have some chamomile and rose petal herbal tea and do some calming yoga moves...my heart is beating too fast. 


Day 1 of my ABC (doubled) diet. Let's hope I can last. I believe in myself. 






 
 [edit] 
Fuck a duck. I took my car to get an oil change and ended up spending $350 on new brakes. Damn stealth. I've had just 1000 calories today and I think I can last throughout the night. I have a giant Diet Coke....so maybe. 


la la la lalalala I love the rain
 
 
 
 
 

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Rewind.

Apr. 26th, 2009 | 11:16 am

 Okay so after talking with my boyfriend about the 2-4-6-8 diet, I've decided that I'm going to first try the ABC diet...only doubled. That's still only 1000 for the highest days, which is a huge calorie cut for me. If I see no progress in, let's say, 2 weeks I'll go back to the 2-4-6-8 thing. I hope it works though. I just want to be perfect for him. 



On a side note, our 6 month anniversary was yesterday. It was a gorgeous day outside and we spent the day going to get flower tea, buy foreign films and veruca salt cds, and visit my sister and have lunch with her. I'm just so happy with him. I hope these feelings last forever. 

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Day 1 - 200 calories.

Apr. 23rd, 2009 | 09:49 am

 Okay so here it goes. 

I need to get my body back. I feel absolutely disgusting every morning when I awake. It doesn't help that my boyfriend is anorexic and is thinner than I am. I need to be more like him. He says I am perfect but I wish I could be just like him. 

So today I'm starting this new diet I've been reading about. It's called the 2-4-6-8 diet. I'm really going to try this time. No excuses. I need to set a goal in mine because that always seem to help me. 

I want to try this for two weeks and see what kind of results I get. May 7th. I can do this. 

Today I woke up around 7:30 and had a Slim-Rite about an hour ago. That's already 170 calories. Only 30 calories to go. I can do this.


For myself and for him.


 
[edit]
I have only had a Slim-Rite shake, a plum, and a piece of 35 calorie toast with honey. That equals out to about 240 calories...a little over my limit but I'm still pleased. I worked out and burned about 150 calories.  

[edit]
Fuckin A. binge binge bingebingebinge bingebing eoeinfgvp'andsv;ckanms
 

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I feel glowy all over.

Dec. 6th, 2008 | 09:24 am



Miss Francesca Lia Block - You make my world go round.














"Magic can be found in stolen moments."

 

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I [heart] zombies.

Oct. 14th, 2008 | 06:50 pm

Okay.

So lately I've been a little





off.



I've been daydreaming too much about the life I wish I had. And I've been a bit to occupied with the undead. I'm on this horror movie zombie kick, and I can't seem to shake it off.



Save me.

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illogical

Sep. 24th, 2008 | 12:47 pm
location: school library

I love you. I love your mind. I love your curiosity. I love the simplicity of your thought process. I love that you care about animals. I love the way it feels when we lay so close, I can feel your heart. I love that you love adventures. I love your logic. I love your passion. I think that's what I love most about you.

But you don't love me. I can't keep telling myself that you do, and I won't put us through this any longer.



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If we're all the same

Aug. 29th, 2008 | 06:39 am
location: sanctuary

169

School is kicking my ass right now. Any advice that doesn't involve quitting one of my three jobs?
shitshitshit shit shitshishitshist shit
 

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Oh, what I wouldn't give...

Aug. 22nd, 2008 | 12:33 am
location: sanctuary


This is where I need to be.
This is where I should be. Where I feel like I belong.

I visited this tiny tea shop today called Escape. It's my new favorite place. There was a fairy tale castle painted high on the wall, caked in glitter. A tree creeping up the ceiling until you reach a massive waterfall shooting down into the Earth. They have delightful jasmine milk tea and any type of muffin you can dream of. Greek busts of superior gods, dynamic and fulfilled, resting on the walls. Books, pebbles, paper-winged lights, and smiling faces also filled this wondrous dreamland.

I worry about this girl. She lives far away and I think she feels like she withering away. I want her to know that people care for her. I want her to understand that things will get better. I want her to eat magnificent dishes and have a happy, full belly. Drink tea, read novels, go to shows, spin around, and run in fields.

I just want her happy.

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(no subject)

Jul. 27th, 2008 | 02:37 pm
location: sanctuary

Shit

What is wrong with me





My life the past couple of days.

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Why So Serious?

Jul. 18th, 2008 | 08:45 pm

The Dark Knight is








phenomenal.

 

Heath Ledger's performance is legendary. Kudos to him. Christian Bale is beautiful and portrays Batman amazingly...all dark and brooding like he should be.

 

Just go see it. now.

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angeli pericolosi

Jul. 18th, 2008 | 01:35 am
location: sanctuary




I need to go duck hunting.



Get my drift?

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No Harry and the Potters for me.

Jul. 10th, 2008 | 12:36 am
location: sanctuary

So, tomorrow I start at Cafe Brazil. And I'm really nervous. Why am I so nervous? Because I'm finally escaping the suffocating grasp my other job has had on me for the past three years? Who knows. I guess it's not that big of a deal. Onward and out, as Peter Pan would say. ...didn't he say that?




Anyways
I think I'm going to start reading:

when I find the time between learning about
the pyloric sphincter and wishing I were someplace else, of course.



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Cave-dweller, huh?

Jun. 19th, 2008 | 09:13 pm
location: sanctuary

Today has been strange. All of these thoughts and images are soaring in my head. Floating actually. They're stagnant.

Normality. What the fuck. Why should I strive to be normal? People always call me weird..but don't I feed off of that? Do I not love it when they do. I think I'd hate myself if I were anything like anyone else. I like being a cave-dweller. I like staying at home painting.

I also like to go out sometimes too though. I like laughing with the friends I rarely see. I like listening to their problems and I like trying to fix them.

I saw this movie Mirrormask today. It was amazing. Helena reminded me of me. The anger and rage, but also the desire to be something more. To balance it out.

Maybe one day I'll find my own Valentine.

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Silence.

Apr. 15th, 2008 | 10:01 pm
location: dorm room
mood: awake

I'm new to this concept of keeping a journal. Seems like I'm new to a lot of things as of late.

new new new 
new
new 
new new 

Alright. Time to put in Thirteen.

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